


Horsin' Around In A Gay Way

by Burgoves98



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: M/M, just general fluffy stuff w/ some bojack angst thrown in, mostly set in the 90's, there is a chapter abt sara lynn's stepfather getting arrested so be aware
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21850708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgoves98/pseuds/Burgoves98
Summary: AU where Herb and Bojack start dating after their kiss in Griffith Park and also Bojack defends Herb in the scandal. Little vignettes into their relationship through the years
Relationships: BoJack Horseman/Herb Kazzaz
Comments: 23
Kudos: 150
Collections: Ollywoo AUs





	1. New Love

**1987**

It was a lot harder to pretend you weren’t in love with your co-worker than Bojack thought it was going to be. 

In movies the people in secret relationships were always having fun sneaking around and getting into zany situations. Then again those movies always ended with the relationship being discovered eventually, so maybe that wasn’t the best format for Bojack to base his expectations on.

Because it was a well understood fact between him and Herb that if their relationship was discovered, everything that they had worked for would fall apart.

\---

Horsin Around had finally ended pre production, the recording of season one was in full swing, and Bojack was learning the hard way that his and Herb’s relationship was going to consist of a lot more deliberate calculating of his words and movements than he was prepared for.

Overall it was a lot more _depressing_ than he thought it would be. 

It made him feel guilty when he had to turn down a woman asking him out, and he had to struggle to come up with some phony excuse so he didn’t hurt her feelings. And it made him feel jealous and petty when he saw that Herb was having to do the same thing.

It made him feel like his stomach was full of rocks to pretend his weekend plans consisted of going on fictitious dates with these women. And it made him feel sick to his core when all he wanted to do was hold his boyfriend’s hand when he knew the world at large would not allow it.

At the beginning, Herb had insisted that it wouldn't be that bad, after all, Horsin Around was a brand new show, and compared to some of the more popular and long running shows on the network, they didn’t have too much wiggle room for indiscretions like this, and no choice in the matter to make their relationship public.

The plan was initially for them to “carpool” together to the set in the morning, do their jobs like professionals do, and at the end of the day they get to go home and spend as much time as they wanted with one another. A simple routine to keep work and personal life separate. 

But it was harder than anticipated when you work with your partner. And after just one month of production Herb and Bojack were feeling the full weight of their situation. God knows it was hard enough to hide a relationship between a man and a woman, but between two men? Show just a little _too much_ affection, and heads would turn. After three months of sneaking around Bojack and Herb had reached a breaking point. 

They had started putting their hands on one another’s shoulders.

Often.

And _in public_.

It was both extremely refreshing and undeniably terrifying. Because if someone got the wrong idea (or in this case the right idea), it would blow everything apart for them, and the show.

But for now, it was all they could get. 

And they needed it.


	2. The Sara Lynn Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara Lynn's stepfather gets his ass beat and arrested

**1993**

Herb Kazzaz was angry.

He was angrier than anyone had ever seen him. 

It had started with Sara Lynn’s off hand comments about her stepfather.  
No one really paid attention before, or they thought that she was just talking like a stereotypical kid who felt weird about having a strange new parent in her life.

Herb knew that her stepfather was a photographer. He knew that he had recently begun homeschooling Sara Lynn himself. And he knew that Sara Lynn didn’t exactly feel warmly towards him. But what kid does like their step-parent right away?

What really made everything click into place was when Sara Lynn came into his office one day rather abruptly. She looked upset but wouldn’t admit that she was, saying she had just wanted to come in to talk with him. Herb decided not to pry and started a friendly conversation with her, hoping to tear her mind away from whatever was upsetting her. 

But as they talked he realized she wasn’t looking any better, and was stealing glances at the door, jumping at little noises and movements in the hallway. Herb tried to steer the conversation in another direction and asked her how things were going at home.

“Fine.” Came the stiff reply. Sara Lynn began fidgeting.

“How’s your mother doing?”

“She’s good.” She wasn’t looking at Herb anymore but just past him.

“And your stepfather? Has he taken any cool pictures lately?”

Then Sara Lynn was crying.

Herb was next to her in a second, his hand on her back as she sobbed. What came next was a horrifying description of what had been going on with Sara Lynn’s home life for the past year.

That’s when the blur started.

Herb didn’t know where he was going when he left his office, but pretty soon he realized that he had walked all the way to the Horsin Around stage set. His heart was beating too fast to keep track of, blood rushing in his ears so hard everything became a vague murmur. His eyes were wide and unfocused until he turned a corner and saw exactly who his subconscious had been leading him too. When he was halfway down the hall his hearing returned, closing the distance between him and the bear.

Herb was filled with white hot rage from the moment he saw his face, and after that things went black. He only really understood what was happening when he heard Bojack’s confused yelling, hooking his arms under Herb’s and yanking the smaller man off of the bear. Between Bojack’s apologies and demands for an answer as to why Herb was pummeling his co-star’s stepfather, Herb had enough sense to lower his voice and growl in Bojack’s ear what Sara Lynn had told him.

Bojack froze for just a moment, stunned. Then he shook it off, and calmly but firmly set Herb onto the floor. Before Herb could do anything else though, he felt Bojack’s hands grip his shoulders and turn him away from the bear in question, who still cowered on the hallway floor. 

When he was turned around Herb noticed for the first time since he had barreled down the hall a few minutes ago that Joelle and Bradley stood confused and horrified at the end of the hall having left their dressing rooms after hearing the commotion. And behind them stood Sara Lynn, eyes wide and cheeks still wet, she had followed him from his office.

Now it was Herb’s turn to be stunned, they all looked at each other for a moment, the only sound in the hallway was Herb’s ragged breathing. Herb opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Bojack leaned down to his ear and said in a surprisingly chilling voice, “take the kids somewhere safe and call the police. I’ll take care of this.”

Herb didn’t move for a moment, and Bojack gave him a careful push forward. He cleared his throat and approach the young actors, carefully leading them away and assuring them that everything was going to be okay. And as they turned the corner just before they were out of sight of the hallway, Herb turned and looked back in time to see Bojack grab Sara Lynn’s stepfather by the front of his shirt.

\---

Sara Lynn didn’t leave Bojack’s arms and Herb didn’t leave their side for hours after the police showed up to the set. Apparently it was standard protocol to make sure the other parent or guardian didn’t have any knowledge of, or god forbid a part in the abuse. Herb didn’t think Carol was the best of mothers before but now, well, until it was known whether or not she knew about the abuse, he and Bojack weren't leaving Sara Lynn’s side. Frankly, they were surprised that the police hadn’t tried to take her from them yet. 

In the end it was determined that Sara Lynn’s mother wasn’t in fact aware of the abuse, and (still reluctantly) Bojack handed the little girl off to her mother. After the police were done questioning them, satisfied with their investigation for the time being, Herb and Bojack left the set together. Bojack drove, and they headed for Herb’s apartment. Nether said a word the entire drive, Bojack staring straight ahead at the road in front of him, and Herb absentmindedly rubbing at the now dried blood on his jacket.

They finally arrived and silently and slowly made their way up to the apartment, it felt to the both of them like they were moving through a fog. 

When they crossed the threshold into the apartment Herb took a deep breath and started crying.


	3. The Sara Lynn Problem - Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter covers what happens after it's discovered that Sara Lynn was being abused

**1993**

It had been weeks since the Horsin Around cast and crew had discovered that Sara Lynn had been being abused by her stepfather.

Things were going as well as they could have been all things considered.   
Sara Lynn was now in therapy twice a week. Her mother had begun and ended divorce proceedings as quickly as legally possible. Her former husband had plead guilty to the charges and was now awaiting his sentence. Herb was pardoned for his assault, (even with the fact that it looked more brutal than it actually was, thanks to Bojack), and he and Bojack had very carefully managed to explain the situation to Joelle and Bradley. Who Bojack and Herb were very proud to say immediately were prepared to stand by Sara Lynn’s side and be there if she needed them. And they had managed to keep the whole ordeal more or less out of the public eye, much to the appreciation of the network executives.

On set Bojack and Herb were the definition of professional and kind. But at home the feelings of rage and disgust were replaced by guilt and regret.

Herb and Bojack almost took turns in how their emotions were swaying in the aftermath of the whole incident. Herb had thrown up from stress no less than twice, and Bojack had not so subtly increased his drinking by one bottle. Everyday one of them would go off on a tirade of “how did I not see” and “I should have done something sooner”, and the other would have to talk them down with careful assurances. Then the other would start.

It took about a month until the two realized that they had been talking in circles. Slowly they helped each other work through their feelings on the matter and found themselves falling back into routine. Sara Lynn was smiling more these days, and Joelle and Bradley were being more friendly with her than they had been in years, and the concept of family was more important than ever.

And it was when Herb tracked down Bojack on set one day to excitedly tell him they got Mary-Kate and Ashley Ocelot as guest stars for the episode on underage drinking, that Bojack noticed a spark in his eyes that he hadn’t seen months. And in the privacy of his dressing room Bojack pulled Herb close to him and kissed him.


	4. Things Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bojack tells Herb he loves him

**1988**

Bojack dramatically swung his arms out in front of him, "Things left unsaid?! Oh you wanna talk about things left unsaid, okay then! Well how about this!?  **I love you!** "

At that moment everything in the room froze and was swallowed up by the silence that followed. Bojack swore that his heart had stopped along with his breathing. 

Then that nagging little voice in the back of his head started up again.

_ Why the hell did you say that you stupid piece of shit? That's not how you're supposed to tell your boyfriend you love him for the first time!  _

_ \--- _

Herb had been the first one to say "I love you" in the relationship. It was one night in December a couple months into pre production of Horsin Around, and a few months after they first kissed in Griffith Park and decided to start dating. 

They had just gotten out of a network holiday party (and a whole night of explaining their yet to air show to people). Bojack himself was appropriately tipsy for a lightweight of a man who had had half a glass of wine and a beer over the course of the night. But Herb had been pulling from the bottle even before the party, to "calm his nerves" as he had put it. 

Four hours of schmoozing and bad holiday karaoke later, Herb had had a little too much to drink and needed Bojack's help to get to the car. The drive to Herb's apartment was uneventful, even with Bojack's jittery, white knuckled driving. Explained at his insistence that the small amount of alcohol he’d had had made him a danger behind the wheel. Herb spent the drive insisting with slurred speech that everyone at the party had  _ loved  _ them, and that when the show aired it was going to be a huge hit.

When they arrived at the apartment, Bojack parked and went over to Herb's side to help him with the unusually difficult seatbelt. And once he was untangled, Herb slung his arm around Bojacks shoulders and took the chance to nuzzle into his neck. 

Bojack chuckled as he led his boyfriend up to the apartment. It was difficult to get Herb out of his clothes and even more difficult to convince him he shouldn't drink anymore. Bojack on the other hand didn't need any convincing when he was asked to stay the night.

After stripping down to his boxers he climbed into bed next to Herb and let the smaller man throw his arms around him and settle his head on his chest.

Then, Herb let out a content sigh, and said the words that struck an icy knife through Bojack's heart.

"I love you." 

Bojack immediately tensed up against the loose body of his boyfriend, his breath hitched in his throat. 

He didn't know what to say. So he didn't say anything. 

Bojack was pretty sure that Herb had already fallen asleep, but the horse's muscles didn't relax until he was sure he felt the slow even breathing of sleep against his chest. He didn't know if Herb had noticed that he hadn't said anything back, or if he would remember anything from the night at all.

Bojack prayed he wouldn't. 

The next morning, Herb didn't make any indication that he remembered the last night's events. And as time went on Bojack had again relaxed in his idea that he could hold off on being vulnerable with another person.

Until now.

Now Herb stood in front of him in his apartment, looking shocked, but somehow not surprised at his outburst. 

Bojack made some strangled meek noise to try to explain himself but nothing came.

Herb turned to look away from Bojack and reached up to rub at his neck. Bojack couldn't help but notice a slight blush on his cheeks. 

"I mean… c'mon BJ I already  _ knew  _ that."

"You did?" 

Bojack felt more lost and afraid than he had in years. He weakly stretched his arms out showing his palms. 

"But I never said it."

Herb crossed his arms and fidgeted a bit. 

"Yeah, I know that too… It's just, it's what you said." Herb gesture between them with his hand. "Its unsaid between us."

Bojack could tell that was a half hearted assurance meant to spare his feelings.

"But-"

"Listen Bojack," Herb closed the distance between them a little, "it's okay if you can't say it easily. I know it. And you know it too."

Bojack wrung his hands, letting his eyes roam about the room, desperate to look anywhere but at Herb's face. When he finally spoke his voice sounded so small and scared he wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. 

"But…. what if I want to?

"Want to what?"

"To…..say it."

Herb smiled a little bit and crossed his arms again as he took a step closer, a playful challenge.

"Then say it."

Somehow, Bojack had not expected that. 

"I.........um....... I love you."

Herb smiled, "Okay. I love you too."

There was such a definitive air to their words that Bojack didn't quite know what to do with himself.

"Is that it?"

Herb laughed and walked away, "Yeah! That's about it." He punctuated the finality of his words by flopping onto the couch.

Bojack didn't move from where he stood, still unsure of what to do now that he'd opened himself up so much. He felt vulnerable. 

Herb turned to him and gave him a sympathetic but amused look, and patted the area next to him on the couch as an invitation.

Bojack's legs felt like they were full of sand but he willed himself to move and sat next to Herb, who watched him with the same amused look.

"Let me ask you something BJ."

"Yeah?"

Herb cocked an eyebrow and gestured around them, "did the world end?"

Bojack laughed as Herb slung his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close and kissing his cheek.


	5. Perv Kazzaz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you already know what tf goin on!

**1992**

Bojack’s legs felt like they were made of jello as he followed Angela Diaz backstage. He wanted to turn his head and look at Herb once more before he was out of sight but he couldn’t, his eyes were glued forward.

Angela gestured for Bojack to sit, then she made her way to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup. “I’m not going to waste your time with small talk, because you work for me and your time is my time.” 

She sat down across from Bojack and stirred her drink, “We’re letting Herb go.”

Bojack thought he was prepared for this, but hearing those words. The finality of it all. It gripped his heart like an icy claw. All of a sudden a million thoughts ran through his head at once. 

His shot at the Secretariat movie. The first time he and Herb met at the Laugh Shack. 

The worldwide fame and power he got from the show. The time Herb first kissed him at Griffith Park. 

Winning his TV Guide Award. When they made sugar cookies that one Christmas using Herb’s grandmother’s recipe.

The money, his huge house. His boyfriend of almost  _ six years. _

Just then Bojack’s heart felt like it had gotten shot with pure adrenaline, but at the same time it also felt like he’d eaten an acid sandwich before this meeting. The world felt like it was in slow motion as he stood from his chair.

What came out of his mouth next shocked the both of them.

“I’m very sorry to hear that but I fully understand you. I mean if it came out that the  _ creator  _ of and  _ the star  _ of  _ the world’s most popular family sitcom _ were both  _ gay  _ and had been  _ dating for years,  _ well, you said it yourself, a scandal like this is too costly for the network. Thank you for firing us privately and not making a public spectacle of this. Herb and I will clear out our things as soon as possible and be on our way.”

That seemed like a natural point in the conversation for Bojack to turn around and leave but he didn’t, he couldn’t move. He just stared straight ahead, afraid to meet Angela’s gaze. He was sure his entire body was visibly trembling but he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Angela was silent for a very,  _ very  _ long time. When Bojack couldn’t stand the silence anymore he looked down at the executive, and he wished he hadn’t.

Her once cold, steely eyes now only held a thin veneer of control over them while underneath there was a fiery anger raging. His sudden speech had frozen her in place, her hands still mid stir of her cooling coffee.

They continued to stare at each other, unmoving, until it dawned on Bojack that this was a test of wills. 

And he wasn’t gonna lose.

Bojack summoned all his strength, all the moments in his life that made him feel angry, betrayed, ignored, abused, and closed his eyes for a moment. Before setting as much willpower as he could muster against Angela’s resolve.

And she was almost impressed.

Angela Diaz stood from her chair slowly, but the movement was so sudden it made Bojack jump. The only thing she said was, “You’ve surprised me today Bojack. Few people have ever done that before.”

She walked to the trash can and dropped the untouched coffee she had made into it, and with one last icy glance behind her she warned him, 

“Don’t ever do it again.”

As she made her way to the exit Bojack’s wide eyes were glued to her, like at any moment she might turn around and tell him he’s fired and banned from the lot, or she’d pull a gun on him and demand he renounce his affiliation with Herb. He was preparing himself for the worst possible outcomes he could think of, but he wasn’t prepared for to to just walk out the door.

\---

“So, basically,” Bojack said squinting at the papers in his hands, “We’re both getting our pay docked.  _ And _ , if I’m reading this right,” he stopped to take a sip of water and sighed “And I’m pretty sure I’m not, I’m gonna have to be on call to do any stupid thing the network wants me to do, commericals, endorsments, telethons, all that crap, to make up for the money they lost during the protests.”

Herb craned his neck to look over his boyfriend’s shoulder, scanning the documents that had been delivered to Bojack’s dressing room that morning. It had been two weeks since news covered broke about the allegations about Herb’s sexuality and the protesting crowds had already begun to disperse outside the studio. The production crew had opted to take some time off filming and focus on writing for the next season in the wake of the scandal. And the network had opted on the release of a short brusque statement denying the rumors that they were going to fire their most popular program’s showrunner, and that Horsin’ Around’s production would continue as it always had. This had suprisingly seemed to pacify many of the homophobic veiwers who had protested Herb’s mere exsistance, meanwhile the everyone else was slowly returning to their lives now that they saw the network was not going to be swayed.

Herb wasn’t sure how much of that statement people actually believed, he was mostly still reeling from the fact that he wasn’t going to lose his job. 

He honestly didn’t expect it.

Herb sighed and placed a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “I'm sorry for all this Bojack..” He shuffled and turned away a bit before quietly adding, “Thanks for sticking with me.”

Bojack snorted, “Herb are you kidding? I’d jump a shark on a pair of water skis if it meant keeping you safe.”

That made Herb laugh, and that was exactly what Bojack needed to hear. The past few weeks had been beyond stressful. They didn’t hear from Angela for days following her meeting with Bojack, and while they were in unemployment limbo they had coped by drinking a bunch and watching episodes of Horsin’ Around. 

Herb had been beyond emotion when Bojack told him how his meeting with Angela had gone. What followed was a long night of passionate sex followed by the feeling that they could take on the world together.

But with their gains came their losses because even though the show was back on and their jobs were more or less secure, rumors had begun circling about Herb and Bojack following the scandal. Rumors the two simply could not afford at this time, knowing what they knew now about how these matters would be handled and received. 

They hadn’t discussed it yet, but they both knew that they had to get a stronger hold on their relationship. They had gotten comfortable in their years of successful secrecy and were now playing it a bit too fast and loose. And as much as they hated the idea, they were going to have to see a lot less of each other in the coming months if they wanted their futures to remain secure.

Herb’s laughter rolled into an affectionate chuckle and he lifted his eyes to meet Bojack’s gaze. Moving his hand from Bojack’s shoulder to the side of his face the smaller man guided him into a kiss. Their mouths moved passionately yet briefly against one anothers. When they broke apart Herb sighed and leaned his head against Bojack’s chest. 

“This isn’t gonna be easy.”

Bojack wrapped his arms around him, “Yeah... But we’ll get through it, together right?”

Herb lifted his head and smiled at Bojack, “You bet we will BJ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda rushed on finishing this chapter bc i wanted to get it done after working on it alone for a couple days so if things are off or something thats why


	6. Griffith Park

**1993**

“Herb?”

“Yeah Bojack?”

“Do you still love this city?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Herb and Bojack were leaned over the ledge of the Observatory in Griffith Park, it was a beautiful day, and Bojack felt like at any moment he was gonna need to bend himself over the ledge and upchuck his breakfast.

“I- um, do you remember that time you brought me here, before the show started? And you said we’d run this city together one day?”

Herb laughed and slapped a hand to his forehead, “Yeah I do, god doesn’t that feel like a million years ago? Now look at us! I guess I was right.” Herb crossed his arms in front of him, stacking his hands and resting his chin on them. He looked contemplative for a moment before his eyes lit up, “Oh hey! I still owe you that high five right?” He laughed again turning to Bojack with his hand raised.

Bojack entire body was trembling as he turned toward his boyfriend. He had removed his hands from the ledge and now they were fidgeting, desperate to hold onto something solid to ground him. He forced a smile onto what was an undeniably nervous face.

“H- Hey Herb, w- what if I gave you something better than a- a high five?”

Before Herb could respond, Bojack quickly shoved his hand into his pocket and fumbled out a small black box. What came out of his mouth next was a slew of jumbled proclamations of love.

“Herbwe’vebeentogetherforseveralyearsnowandI’veknownthatIlovedyousincethatfirsttimewekissedhereatGrifithParkallthoseyearsagoandeverydaythatIgettoseeyouIonlyloveyoumoreandIguesswhatI’mtryingtosayis,” Bojack dropped to one shaky knee and took a deep breath, “Herb Kazzaz will you m- marry me?”

Then there was one  _ painful  _ moment of solid silence. 

Herb stood stunned before Bojack with his eyes wide and at a loss for words. A million things he could say came to his mind and died in the same second, but when he could finally find his voice he only choked out one word.

“Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small chapter this time, and a reminder that the chapters aren't going to be in chronological order


	7. My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's an accident on set Horsin Around and bojack blames himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bojack's "I was abused as a kid" energy really coming out in this one. Also, updates will probably be sparse from now on bc I start back at school next week

**1989**

Herb literally stepped off set for  _ a second _ , and all hell broke loose. 

They had been filming a scene for Horsin Around in which the Horse is house sitting for his Boss Mr. Liberatore. And one of his responsibilities is to care for Mr. Liberatore exotic aquatic plants that he keeps in a giant wall tank in his living room. The Horse stops by the house with Olivia on his way to drop her off at Glee Club. 

The Horse was supposed to make a joke, “what could possibly go wrong?” and lean against the tank with one hand and  _ nothing  _ would happen. The kicker was supposed to come later, when he does it  _ again  _ and this time the tank breaks. Production had started the day with two fully intact panes of glass, one made of breakable and safe sugar glass, and one made of sturdy and solid  _ real glass.  _ Now it was barely lunch time and they had one perfectly intact pane of sugar, a wet shattered mess of glass and aquatic plants spread across the set, and a lead with his hand and forearm cut up so bad he needed stitches.

To put it bluntly, this day had not gone very well so far.

Herb was pacing angrily in Bojack’s dressing room, one hand running through his thinning hair. 

“I can’t believe this! We hire all these safety technicians and set designers and for  _ what _ ?”

Bojack sat quietly in his make up chair with his head down. He thankfully had a change of dry clothes, so the only thing still wet about him right now was his hair. He picked at the bandages covering his right hand and going up his arm. 

It hurt. They had applied a topical painkiller from the on-set first aid kit but he thinks it had probably worn off by now. A small hard lump of anxiety was stuck in his throat, he wanted to speak up, try to maybe calm Herb down, or ask him if he would get him an advil or something, but he couldn’t work up the nerve. After all, Herb was so mad.

But the anxiety was nothing compared to the solid ball of guilt growing in his gut, and with each complaint and each outburst the ball grew heavier. 

And the voice. It had been going nonstop since the second he got his bearings on stage and realized what had happened.

_ Way to fuck everything up idiot.  _

Herb continued his pacing, oblivious to Bojack’s inner turmoil, “Now we have a busted aquarium, a soaked set, one ruined camera, and a bunch of dead plants that- aaaaaaugh! Were on  _ loan!”  _ Herb stopped in his tracks and dragged both hands over his eyes, “God what a shitshow.”

_ Looks like you ruined everything, look how upset you made everyone, how upset you made Herb.  _

Bojack’s throat felt dry, “Herb..”

“And on top of all of this, production is shut down for the rest of the week, and we’re probably gonna have to re-write the whole damn episode!” He moved one hand to rest on his hip and rubbed at his eyes with the other as he sighed, “....and you.”

_ Herb’s angry. He’s angry at  _ **_you._ ** __

For probably the millionth time in his life Boajck thought he was going to upchuck right then and there, but instead he managed to choke out, “Herb I’m so sorry... This is all my fault.”

Herb paused for a moment, then took his hand away from his face and turned to Bojack. 

“Huh?”

“It was all me, I- I shouldn’t have leaned so hard against the glass, I mean I’m a horse, what was I thinking? It’s my fault everything got ruined, if you wanna blame someone blame me.”

Herb just looked at him for a second, taking in what he saw. Bojack’s legs were pressed together and he had them pulled close to his body, he was picking at his bandages and cradling his injured arm. His head was down and he refused to make eye contact with him. Then something clicked in Herb’s brain.

_ He really thinks this is his fault. _

“Bojack...”

The softness of Herb’s voice gave Bojack enough confidence to meet his gaze. And what Herb saw in his boyfriend’s eyes broke his heart. He could feel all his anger and frustration rush out through his fingertips as he carefully approached him, placing what he hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“BJ you were the only person who was going to interact with that glass, it was designed for you to lean against.” Herb signed and rubbed the back of his head, “at least it was supposed to be.”

“Oh?”

“The  _ real  _ glass was supposed to support you for that scene, then in the later scene, we were going to swap it out for  _ sugar glass _ that was going to break. That glass was supposed to be reinforced, that’s what we ordered. But nobody knew when it was delivered that it was the wrong kind. This is  _ really  _ not your fault, at all. It was just an accident.” 

Bojack didn't respond to that, Herb looked down at his injured arm where he was still absentmindedly picking at the bandages. “Does that still hurt? I thought they gave you something.”

Bojack shrugged, “They did but it wore off a while ago.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bojack looked at the floor, “..You were so mad. I- I didn’t want to bother you.”

Now it was Herb’s turn to feel guilty. “I…. I’m sorry Bojack. Honestly, the worst thing that happened today is that you got hurt. I’m upset about that more than anything else.”

Bojack hummed in response and didn’t look entirely convinced. Herb guided him out of his chair, “C’mon BJ lets get you some painkillers and get you home.”

Bojack cleared his throat when they got into the hallway and said, “Hey so um, I don’t know how much I’m gonna be able to do with just the one arm, and uh... Well, would you stay with me, over at my place for a while?”

Herb smiled up at him, “Of course.”


	8. Unfinished Chapter - The Portrait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bojack's got a new painting hanging in his dressing room. Can YOU guess what it is?  
> I've been trying to finish this chapter for over a month, it's not getting finished. just imagine they banter and kiss at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I've kind of lost the steam rn to keep working on this fic. The GOOD NEWS, is that I've been working on a NEW Herb/Bojack fic for a couple weeks. Check out my profile in a little while and I'll have the first chapter uploaded!
> 
> (also of course, THANK YOU for all the kind messages and comments. As you all know this is my first fic and it's really kept me going and encouraged me to write more!)

**1991**

“ _ Oh my God. _ ”

Bojack had recently decided to add a new piece of art to his dressing room and Herb was at a loss for words.

The horse lay beneath his new semi erotic pride and joy, mirroring the position to his nude, painted counterpart.

Herb struggled to find his voice as laughter started bubbling up in his throat, “Bojack, what the hell?”

Bojack tilted his head back and fluttered his eye lashes, reveling in his boyfriends amusement, “Am I, or am I not, getting more handsome?”

That did it, now Herb was doubled over with laughter.

Bojack rolled over onto his back and stretched daintily placing his hands above his head and smiling innocently, “Davinci wishes he had a muse like me.”

Herb gasped as he regained control over himself. Chuckling he said, “I’m mad that you look so damn good in it.” 

He walked over to the couch where Bojack lounged in his faux decedent amusement and pushed the horses legs aside so he could sit.

“ _ Where _ did you get this done?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing fanfiction so please keep that in mind and thanks for reading! This chapter is small but I'm working on some longer ones


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